It's been some time since I truly connected my heart and brain. I've begun to realise that there is a whole side of me that I wasn't aware existed. An emotional being.
I am the "put it away and forget about it" gal! I feel the need to remain strong for my family in difficult situations so have swallowed my emotions in an attempt to be strong, re-direct attention and and not to be a burden. I am slowly beginning to understand that by brushing my feelings under the carpet all I've done is created a pile that is beginning to fester!
I'm sure I'm not the only person that has put their loved ones feelings before their own, but as the burn grows I feel the need to release.
I am not the kinda girl that cries to a counsellor, in fact I don't rely cry at all. My family may have maybe seen me cry twice in my 36 years. Slight clue that I have a problem?!
I found myself with an ache in my stomach and tears streaming, listening to a tune I'd never heard before. The rap was funny and dark and obviously connected with me somewhere. I wrote down the bars whilst tears turned to sobs. That day I wrote my first poem and although it drew me to a memory, it released a small part of the ache. So here I am!
I'm not a hippy an emo or an attention seeker. I don't care if this is never seen. I'm a 36 yr old woman starting a new life which weirdly includes emotions.
I'm going to talk about my life and post poetry, bars and whatever comes to mind.
Gem x
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